There are many surprises along the way when a couple decides to get divorced, but there are also five very important things you should know about getting a divorce so that you are prepared.

1. Don’t Expect to Win Your Divorce Case

In a divorce there are no winners.  It may be a hard pill to swallow, but the truth is it is extremely rare for either side to get exactly what they want in a divorce, whether its settled or decided by a Judge.  Before you decide to engage in a full-blown litigation, keep this in mind.

2. Carefully Think Through Any Important Decisions

In your divorce you will be faced with life changing issues.  For example, you may need to decide whether to sell the family home.  While selling it may seem like the quickest and easiest fix, it is important to consider all potential consequences (present and future) of any decisions you make. Don’t make impulsive decisions just to get your case done.

3. Your Children Aren’t Getting Divorced from Either of You

It is very easy to get caught up in the emotion of a divorce; however, badmouthing your spouse to your children, or in their presence, can cause them significant emotional harm.  Except in the most extreme circumstances, children will continue to have a relationship with both of their parents, and those relationships need to remain positive for the sake of the children.

4. Don’t Believe Everything Your Friends Tell You About Divorce

Your friends are important people in your life, but in most cases, they are not experts in divorce. They are likely going to tell you about their own divorces and about what should and should not happen in a divorce; but be forewarned, the information you get can be very misleading. Each divorce case, the facts of each case, and the players in each divorce are different.  There is no way to compare what a friend went through to what you are going through.  Every situation is unique and carries with it a unique set of circumstances.    Thus, while your friends may be well meaning, you should not make life decisions based upon their experiences.

5. Keep Expectations Reasonable

You may know what you want out of your divorce, but sometimes those goals are unattainable or not supported by the law. The best advice is to hire an attorney you trust, listen to your attorney and be guided by their advice in making decisions and setting expectations. For your case to be resolved quickly and without costly and stressful litigation, you must have reasonable expectations about the outcome.

As always, if you have questions, please contact us.