Your one plus one did not equal happiness, but what happens when you or your ex wants to add a NEW plus one into the equation?
For many, this scenario can be difficult, sometimes a little messy, and almost always uncomfortable – at first – but there are things to consider that could help the transition.
If you have children, wait to introduce your new significant other to them until the relationship is “not so new” anymore. Depending on the situation, you may also want to consider how long you and your former spouse have been apart prior to introducing someone new.
Your new partner and your ex do not need to be best friends, but, ideally, everyone should maintain a civil relationship with each other – especially in front of children. You do not want your children to hear you speaking badly about your ex’s new partner or sense any negativity or animosity when you are all in a room together. Additionally, it is important that your new partner is respectful of your ex, especially if children are involved.
Make sure boundaries are set when it comes to parenting. Anyone who is not a parent should not try and take on that role. Make sure this new person in your child’s life understands that you and your ex are still in charge of decisions relating to and impacting your child’s life.
Be aware of your child’s response to a new person in their life. How your child reacts will depend on their age, personality, their relationship with your ex and their relationship with you. They should never be made to feel that your new partner is a substitute for your former spouse. Ideally, your child will ultimately have a positive relationship with your new partner but try not to force it.
At the end of the day, adults need to act like adults and make responsible choices around children. You should do everything possible to make this new situation as easy as possible. If you have concerns or gripes, have adult conversations when the kids are not around. Make sure your children are comfortable with coming to with questions or concerns about your new relationship.
Divorce is complicated and so are all the scenarios that come along with it. If you have questions about your divorce or separation, call us.
